Katy Smith was the first person in MN and nationally to be named parent educator of the year in 2011. MN is the only state that licenses parent educators. She is taught in the classroom and also do many speaking engagements and workshops. She works with people all over Minnesota
What is a parent educator?
I do a lot of public speaking and training and build the capacity of those who raise Minnesota’s youngest learners. I work with children that are 0-8 years old. I support parents in their journey to understand the child they have been giving and to help them navigate parenting. I am a parent coach in the most basic form.
What are the main topics you discuss with parents?
Parenting tends to be easier until children start to exert their independence. What is developmentally appropriate or what about this behavior that makes me feel triggered? How to I navigate this behavior. If I can give them ideas about that is developmentally appropriate and this is why. We can take kid’s behavior personally at times. Help kids navigate development. Discipline strategies, screen time, challenging behavior. What does a safe and healthy childhood look like? Helping people to build their parenting community.
What Is developmentally appropriate? When should the hitting and bitting end?
From ages 0-8 development is very fluid. Some children walk way before other children, etc.
There are some general windows, but children will develop at their own paces. 1.5-3 is usually the period where kids bite. Whining is very typical. 18-3.5years old is a period where kids whine and is developmentally normal. If this goes on longer it might be something that works for kids and was learned behavior in their family.
Does hitting and kicking go along with biting?
Sometimes it can, but sometimes it can be kids navigating feelings or things they are frustrated with. All behavior is communication. What could they be trying to say? Give kids some guiding strategies or things they can try to navigate their feelings instead of hitting or kicking. Parents should think to themselves. What am I trying to teach them about hitting and what to do instead. It is hard for a child to turn off impulsive behavior if they don’t have something else to do instead. Questions parents can ask themselves: What strategies have I tried, what am I trying to teach them, what could this child be trying to communicate.
What are some tips for sibling rivalry?
Do some coaching with the other child if applicable. Validate the child’s feelings. Every person needs someone to validate their feelings. Know that it takes a long time for kids to learn to get along with other kids. Sometimes the last relationship to wire up is the sibling relationship. Praise them for playing and interacting nicely. Help the older child understand that the younger looks up to them and wants to be like them. Help the child know it is okay to have these big feelings about their sibling and that you are there to talk with them about it.
What are some tips to deal with strong willed children?
They practice the skills that are necessary. There is a power grab around 2.5 and 5 years old. Give them enough choices that it feels like they have some control in their lives so they don’t have to power grab. Talk about their big feelings. Let them have small projects throughout the day that they are in charge of. Set up the problem for them and let them help to solve it. Parents have been navigating behavior, regulation, etc and now kids are starting to do that themselves. Kids have to nudge up against the boundaries to help them figure out where they land.