Facebook and Instagram @bymonicajones
Website: https://www.bymonicajones.com/
Podcast: She is You
Why are you passionate about self-care and what made you decide to become an advocate for others in their self-care journey?
Motherhood threw me through a loop, we got pregnant right after I got married. I threw myself into motherhood on purpose while also focusing on full time employment and being a new wife and I got lost in the process. I forgot about what made me happy and how to put myself first. It took a lot of work, therapy has been the biggest push that helps me focus on my own care and reminds me that I matter and deserve these things.
What does self-care mean to you?
Self care is incredibly personal and everyone has different needs. Self care to me is the things that I do to help me feel like me again. Pour into myself and make sure I am making time for myself. I also focus on doing things for myself that focus on my values. Maybe someone needs to wake up early or maybe they need to take a bath or just binge watch shows. It will look different for everybody.
Do you schedule your self care or how do you make sure and fit it in your day?
It goes in seasons, it varies. I do try and wake up early every day since I know I’m a better wife, mom and person in general when I do so. The other piece of it, is being self-aware and so I know what is going to fuel me as well as having good communication with my husband. I am able to let him know when I need a break before it bubbles over. Also, I try to treat myself kindly by eating healthier, having spa nights or little indulges when I need it.
Why do you think so many people have a hard time practicing self care and why do women feel so guilty about it? Do you have any tips for how to get over that guilt?
I think the number one reason Moms don’t take care of themselves is because of time. The days go by crazy fast, and when we have a million things on our list, how can we fit ourselves in. The guilt comes in because our kids may need us and are crying or want snuggle time and that burden makes us feel guilty if we need to step away. However, if we don’t take that time for ourselves than our tank gets empty and we become burned out and we aren’t able to take care of others if we can’t take care of ourselves. You are doing it for yourself but you are also doing it for those you care about.
How do you approach self-care with your partner and share what you need and what you need them to do in order to practice self-care?
Communication is key and aligning your schedules to make sure you both have the time for yourself as well as the time you need to be together.
How can you tell when you are lacking the self care that you need and how do you handle explaining it to your children that you need to take a moment to yourself?
I used to be afraid to let my children see me really upset or frustrated however I am really intentional about teaching my children how to self-soothe and regulate their feelings. I was feeling like a hypocrite by not showing them how I am taking care of myself so now I am trying to be more vulnerable and open with them. I tell them that I am taking a time out to take a break and then explained to them what happened and why I needed to take a break to calm down. I also tell them I am going for a walk in the morning or taking a bath to take care of myself so they can witness the ways I focus on my own self care.
What are some easy budget friendly ways to care for ourselves as well as more grand ways?
It goes back to what you value, some people need alone time and some people need more social time. You can get up early, go on walks, spend some time alone in the car, take a bath, listen to a podcast, read a book, watch shows or movies, writing in a journal are all options. More grandiose options are go to a spa or create something special for yourself such as learn how to bake a new recipe, order takeout, spend a weekend away, virtual happy hours and coffee dates.
Do you have any ideas on fun ways to take time for Date nights during quarantine?
We will do take out from a favorite restaurant and eat dinner together after the kids are in bed and be intentional to spend time together. We will use the fancy plates, set up some candles, and make it feel as if we are dining out and having a conversation together. Another great idea is the Card Deck app where it gives you unique questions to ask and learn about each other. You have to think out the box a little bit and be more intentional about setting up time together.
Can you share a little bit about your Podcast and what people can expect when they listen to episodes?
I started my podcast two years ago and named it She is You due to how we always compare ourselves to other Moms and the Mom that we are is exactly who our children need, she is you! Episodes range from talking about being comfortable in my post-portum body, to teaching confidence in my children to how to handle struggles with our marriage. I have also recently started interviewing other Moms as well for episodes. Episodes are released weekly on Wednesdays on Apple Podcast as well as Google Play.